What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

What is one thing you've learned from life?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

While on the surface of the moon, why isn’t the Apollo 11 spacesuit inflated like a balloon from the 3.7 psi internal pressure?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Undercover cops in New York are riding the subways with iPods on to entice robbery. Is that a form of entrapment? If not, why not?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Would you let your partner cheat on you every now and again?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

How do I get my body in shape?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

How do the youth in Taiwan perceive their national identity in relation to China?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

My waist finally looks like how it did before I had kids but I didn’t lose weight. Why am I still 15 lbs from my starting weight?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

TEXT:

What do porn stars do when they get old?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

What are 10 interesting facts about you?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Do Indian guys like African girls?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.